Saying Goodbye

I met Sean Regts when we were both 16 years old working at Steenstra's Royal Dutch bakery. He used to clean the baking pans back in the bakery and I worked in the store. He would come in every day and work alone in the back so I made a point to go back and talk to him as often as I could. (Because who wants to be alone all the time?) It wasn't long and I was looking forward to my daily "visits" with Sean. He would leave every day for a few minutes and return with a soda. Once I asked him if I could go get a soda with him and from that point on he could usually count on me to walk with him across the street to buy a soda.
My sweetest memories were the hours we spent together at Farrow's Music. We spent many hours in Farrow's shopping, dreaming, listening, and learning. Sean was a great guitarist and he had taken up the challenge to try and teach me how to play. He bought me an acoustical guitar for my high school graduation gift. I tried hard to get it and Sean was so patient but I am no better at reading music for guitar than reading my music for piano.
He had a boat that I would join him and his family on Gun Lake. Many fond memories on the boat. I enjoyed being with his family too.
We went to an Alanis Morissette concert in Kalamazoo in the middle of a snow storm. I remember thinking that we should not have been out on the roads but we did make it there and back home safe. Sean had to remind me recently that we had back stage passes before the concert but we did not make it in time due to the weather.
Sean was there for me during a rough period in my life. He was always there to help in any way needed.
After marrying Corey and our move to Ann Arbor, we still remained in contact with Sean. After our move back to Grand Rapids a few years ago, our activities usually centered around Sean's cars. Rhianna was able to sit in Sean's racing cart (no it was not going anywhere!). We sat in his Firebird as it roared for the Metro Cruise.
Sean had joined us for summer gathering/pool parties at our house. Sean and Corey both played in the praise band at church and they would converse about music and the instruments they each played.
November 14, 2010, Sean called me to tell me his doctor found a patch of cancer on his tongue and he was diagnosed with diabetes. I prayed with him over the phone and he remained on our prayer list from then on. He met with a radiation specialist November 22, who confirmed that he had a large sized tumor on his tongue. The treatment was a combination radiation and chemotherapy. Treatments started the second week of December including surgery for a feeding tube and PET scan which showed cancer only in his tongue and lymph nodes. The doctors believed it was curable but warned having radiation to the throat and mouth was rough.
January 24, 2011, Sean was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia in his right lung and shortly after, completed his radiation and chemo treatments. The end of February, Sean was able to go to Florida with his brother Dave's family.
During therapy Sean, felt something was not feeling right and a biopsy was taken. March 17, the biopsy report showed the cancer was still present and Sean was referred to UofM for surgery. April 14, Sean had surgery to remove his tongue. They had to do a trach. Sean also was not able to eat via mouth again. Stage four cancer. No other options available. The doctor was surprised how fast the cancer had advanced in the two weeks since he had last seen Sean. June 21, 2011, the doctor felt the cancer had returned. June 28, biopsy came back positive for cancer again and more aggressive than before.
July 6, received a report from Ann Arbor: the cancer was back and has metastasized to other areas in Sean's body. The doctor said they could do nothing more. Their goal was to make Sean as comfortable as they could for the next few weeks.
I had several sweet visits with Sean. At one point in conversation he wrote he was concerned I wasn't handling his situation well and he reassured me with these words, "It isn't nice when someone hands you a timer, but I'm ready to go home."
July 15, Sean was moved to Faith Hospice at Trillium Woods
He never lost his humor in everything he had been through.
Rhianna wanted to give him a gift so she read a section from her favorite book, Bink and Gollie. It is a book about dear friends who are marvelous companions agreeing on most items and learn compromise is required for the matters they don't see eye to eye on. Bink finds a bright rainbow colored pair of socks to buy and Gollie begs her not to get them. By the end, the two friends find a sweet comprise. Rhianna finished reading to Sean and asked him if he liked to wear bright socks. He wrote, "I wear bright white socks!"
July 22, 2011, Sean left this world to his eternal home with his Heavenly Father. Though I am sad for him to leave us here, there is great comfort in knowing he is in a better place and pain free!
Sean you will be missed, but I'll see you on the other side!

Christmas 2010

We had such a wonderful Christmas season this year. I truly did not want it to come to an end. Our family had more parties and gatherings to attend this year than in the past years. We started with our first Christmas party at our friends Nita and Bomber the weekend of Thanksgiving. They are the Griswolds of today when it comes to decorating and they held nothing back again this year. Rhianna joined this celebration this year just to see all of Aunt Nita's decorations. She was the only little person there so she gladly took in all the special attention.

The first weekend in December we had our Vander Giessen family Christmas. We (my Dad's three sisters and each of their kids and their children) all met at Jenison Bible Church and packed the house for a wonderful potluck dinner, games, and fellowship.

The following weekend we had Corey's Applebee's Christmas breakfast on Saturday morning. Wow! He has a wonderful group he is working with. I enjoyed meeting the faces I have heard so much about.

Sunday, Rhianna had a part in the Christmas program at church playing Lilly. She had fun and she did great! Corey's mother was able to come in from Jackson along with her husband and a grandchild and a great grandchild. We all sat in the very front row proudly watching our littlest star. After church, we met at Monelli's for lunch and then they headed back as the snow quickly started to fall.

Thursday I had our office Christmas luncheon. Twelve of us women and Doctor met at the Lily Pad in Byron Center. We were missing one sweet lady as she had a house fire in the early morning and lost everything. Our celebration was dampened by the news but we gathered around this young woman and her family in her great time of need. I am in awe as we hear the stories of God's protection and provision.

The following Sunday we had our family Christmas dinner and celebration. My siblings had decided we would not exchange gifts with each other or the cousins but that we would have a separate "sleepover" party. We had a wonderful dinner and exchanged gifts with Nana and Papa and ate many yummy appetizers and treats throughout the evening.

Ashley and Lucas

Christmas eve and Christmas day we had no plans outside of our home. Rhianna opened her gifts Christmas eve and we spent Christmas day all together. Christmas presents were wrapped and placed under our Christmas tree one night about week before Christmas. The next morning I found Rhianna in front of the presents giggling. She explained to me that she was getting the Wii. I asked her what made her think that and she proudly proclaimed she just knew! Last year my parents gave us money for Christmas and I really wanted to get the Wii then but Corey had been out of work for the prior month and he felt it was more responsible to buy meat so that is what we did. Throughout the last year if Rhianna spotted a Wii in a store she would make a point of telling us, "There is the Wii that Dad won't let us have!" That bugger! Corey and I searched high and low for a box the same size, filled it with two 5lbs bags of flour and a mold to make snow forts, wrapped it identically to the Wii present, replaced the present under the tree. She was disappointed upon opening the gift to find the box was not a Wii however Corey gave her a gift with a clue sending her to another clue which sent her to the real Wii present. Disappointment quickly changed to pure excitement! Our family has enjoyed every minute playing together sharing many laughs as Wii play!

New Year's eve we had our "sleepover" party at Nana and Papa's. We started our time together playing the Wii on Papa's big screen. We had dinner together and then I planned several surprises. First, we made a "hand print family tree" as a host/ess gift for Nana and Papa, played the "cookie face race" game, made chocolate snowballs to pass out to shut-ins from our church, decorated sack bags for the Kids' Food Basket, and watched a 20 minute DVD I put together of the last year of memories. We ate crackers and cheese with sparkling juice as we watched the ball drop. Each of the little cousins made it to midnight too! Saturday morning I woke up to sweet little faces greeting Auntie Jen. I loved EVERY minute. We ended our party at Terry Hall for some rollerskating. The rollerskating brought each of us down memory lane as it had been at least 20+ years since the last time we were there.

Sunday, January 2nd we had our final Christmas party with the Williams family in Jackson. We celebrated at the home of Corey's brother, Brock and his wife, Stephanie. Brock's two older children were there with each of their kids along with Brock's youngest, Torrie. Corey's mother and husband Dick also came. We enjoyed good food and time together.

Stephanie with Abigail and Aubrey